THE FINE PRINT SURVIVED
Disclosures & qualifications.
The company and its offers
Doomsday Supply Co. is a fictional business in the SoftBoulders comedy collection. Its products, services, prices, founding claims, company voice and field notes are original satire. No goods, subscriptions, consulting or emergency services are offered for sale. Generated imagery depicts invented scenes and product concepts, not actual merchandise or facilities.
Shopping, bookings and payment
The go-bag is a local demonstration. Adding items, adjusting quantities or clicking checkout does not create or transmit an order. Service buttons do not create a booking or subscription. We collect no payment or card details. Actual charge is $0. The cart lives only in page memory and clears on reload. No business contact, shipment or follow-up is promised.
The forecast
The doom score is a deterministic joke, not a probability, measurement, forecast or assessment of real-world risk. Its formula is min(99, 68 + 4 × the selected hours). Scenario text and good-news messages are prewritten. No live news, tracking, AI inference or personal assessment is used.
Assessment, service previews and founder story
The three-question doomer assessment is a comedic personality exercise, not a clinical or psychological assessment. It counts the selected categories; ties favor the first selected category. Its product recommendations come from fixed local lists and do not assess actual needs or risks. Service previews assemble prewritten text from your selection. They do not use AI, send a message, book a service, produce a technical design or evaluate a real situation. Answers and preview results remain in page memory and clear on reload. Founder names and events are invented company lore. Product specifications are jokes, not tested performance claims.
Safety and editorial scope
The site is entertainment, not financial, mental-health, medical, engineering or emergency-preparedness advice. The jokes do not establish protective properties, food shelf life or suitability for real emergencies. Follow appropriate official guidance and actual product instructions for real preparedness. We do not claim endorsements, customer outcomes or relationships with people or organizations referenced in the humor.
Data and advertising
The company’s own controls make no form submissions and do not persist cart data. The storefront includes one separately labeled Google AdSense unit. Third-party advertising can process data as described in the linked privacy notice and provider policies. This page contains no ad unit. Inclusion of ad code is not a claim of approval or active ad delivery. No affiliate offers are installed.