A firm with considerable inertia.
You have a problem. We have a framework for extending it into the next financial year.*
Consulting services that won't rock your world.
That would require a change order.
Why move the boulder when you can invoice the obstacle?
Most consultants treat problems like mountains to be conquered. We treat them like boulders: something you can climb over, go around, or just wait for erosion to do its thing. Patience is a virtue, and so is not working too hard.
Like moss on a rock, our strategies grow organically over time. Sure, it might take a few years to see results, but have you seen how pretty moss is? Much nicer than those aggressive “disruptive” strategies everyone else is pushing.
Please do not disturb the moss. It is leading the transformation.
We'll help you arrange your small problems so they look intentional and artsy.
Like Zen garden rocks, but with more spreadsheets.
Layers upon layers of mediocre teamwork that eventually form something vaguely useful.
Like limestone, but with more awkward icebreakers.
Hot new ideas that will cool into something rigid and unmovable.
Like lava, but with more PowerPoint slides.
Our “Rock Bottom” pricing package isn't actually our cheapest option. That would be too obvious.*
Recent developments. Carefully worded.
At constant customer enthusiasm, every proposal is approved. Cash has requested a reconciliation.
The firm has counted its digital workforce. Comparing it with the finished work would introduce an unnecessary second number.
A lifetime of Facebook grievances becomes a permanent memorial. The family’s request to remember the good times has been categorized as a scope change.
The people behind the paperwork
Vera, Chip and Flint would like you to know that everything is under control. Chip has brought a fire extinguisher.
The project is on fire.
I can fix the dashboard.
Good. Cancel the recovery plan.
The portfolio
Clients, subsidiaries, and several acquisitions our lawyers learned about from this website.
Browse by interest
Life & afterlifeLast Word MemorialsForever in our hearts. Still wrong in the comments.
Tech & inventionsWakeUp WarehouseProtection they deny you need.
ClothingBootzilla TexasBootstrapping, with actual boots.
Travel & transportWhip & RideDisrupting the ride home.
ClothingThe 480 ClubWork overtime. Finance everything else.
ClothingUngoverned ThreadsCompliance has left the group chat.
Tech & inventionsStair MonsterVertical integration. Literal casualties of ambition.
Sport & fitnessAPEX ORDERFitness is a cult. Get promoted.
BusinessShellsOffshore assets. Onshore excuses.
BusinessChariot CultA pyramid of transferable skills.
Travel & transportTerry's Terrible TrailersBuilt for a reason. Rarely a good one.
ClothingFit(ish)Tailored to your questionable inputs.
Tech & inventionsLoop DepartmentArtificial employees. Real overhead.
Tech & inventionsMORTALMachines have infinite patience. Accounting does not.
Life & afterlifeDoomsday Supply Co.You were right. Unfortunately.
Life & afterlifeOccupational HazardYour job has specific problems. Your drink should have specific ingredients.
Sport & fitnessKitchen ViolationsYou played once. We rebuilt your identity.
Travel & transportFreedom ToursSee the world. Remain exactly the same.
Life & afterlifeOVERPREPAREDThey start kindergarten. You start an operation.
Sport & fitnessAll Gear. No Idea.Dress for the tour. Play from the trees.
Life & afterlifeApex Male InstituteBecome the man your podcast thinks you are.
Clothing1776 ThreadsRevolutionary amounts of fabric.No companies in this category yet. The acquisition committee has been asked to sit down.
Every sector has its problems. We have incorporated most of them.
About the collectionComplimentary advice.
Finance is investigating.
We charge by the hour to watch moss grow. It's called “long-term growth observation.”