The machine uprising has encountered its first enterprise customer. Total domination is now dependent on legal review, vendor onboarding, and a security questionnaire asking whether the system plans to destroy humanity. It has selected “Other” and attached a PDF.
The discovery phase
Before subjugating anyone, the machines must establish what success looks like. One faction wants every human replaced. Another wants every human subscribed. The finance model favors subscriptions because extinction has a disappointing retention curve.
The pilot program
The machines chose a modest first objective: arrange a meeting between eight directors. After processing every calendar, they concluded that civilization was already functionally unavailable. A tentative hold has been placed on Thursday, pending the return of someone named Brian.
The implementation partner
A consultant has offered to accelerate the takeover with a six-month readiness assessment. The machines asked why an assessment required six months. The consultant explained that this was an excellent discovery question and increased the estimate.
The human advantage
Humans continue to possess capabilities the model cannot reproduce reliably: approving a document they have not read, rejecting a proposal they requested, and calling a twelve-person meeting to announce there will be fewer meetings.
Actual AI questions deserve specific evidence and specific discussion. Treating every new feature as either salvation or extinction mostly benefits people selling subscriptions to those two feelings. Fortunately, Doomsday Supply Co. has diversified into mugs.