THE DEPARTMENT OF FINE PRINT
Disclosures & qualifications
The paperwork has requested a moment of seriousness.
Entertainment and affiliation
1776 Threads is a fictional satirical clothing company in the SoftBoulders collection. Company lore, named founders, product claims, prices and policies are entertainment. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or an authorized merchandise seller for Donald Trump, a political party, campaign, or government agency. Garment images are generated concept illustrations, not evidence of stocked products or manufacturing.
No sales or fulfillment
No physical shirts are sold here. The garment cabinet is a browser-only simulation. Adding items creates no order, reservation or contract. Checkout displays an explicit notice and a zero-dollar actual charge. There are no payments, shipments, returns, subscriptions or donations. Catalog totals are illustrative and are never charged. Refreshing or leaving the page clears the cabinet.
Measurements and local controls
The fit calculator uses the entered body chest measurement plus the selected illustrative ease allowance. It does not create a complete pattern or guarantee a fit. Neck and sleeve values are repeated for review, not converted to a manufacturing specification. Shirt selection, measurements and complaint topics are processed locally; our controls do not send them to a server or save them between page loads. Complaint replies are scripted and do not contact anyone.
Fabric, care and tariff references
Follow an actual garment’s care label and the seller’s measuring instructions. Material descriptions here are general guidance or concept specifications. The 15% surcharge in the sourcing memo is a fixed satirical assumption retained for the joke, not current tariff advice. It does not establish an actual duty rate, country of origin or customs classification.
Advertising and privacy
Third-party advertisements are labeled Advertisement and are separate from the company’s content and simulated controls. Advertising providers may process information as described in the privacy and advertising policy. Local form behavior does not mean the advertising scripts collect no information. Any future real products or affiliate offers must be identified explicitly at the relevant link or purchase action.
Access and navigation
The site supports keyboard navigation, visible focus, native expandable sections and Escape to close the cabinet. No purchase or contact data is required. Return to the company page or read about SoftBoulders.