A fluent explanation of a ball nobody can find

A beginner says, ‘I hit it into those trees.’ A fluent golfer says, ‘I've been fighting the left side lately.’ The first describes a location. The second implies a distinguished athletic career interrupted by a recent and highly technical dispute.

You have played twice. This does not prevent you from having a ‘usual ball flight.’ It merely means the sample size is doing a lot of unpaid work.

Speak before the evidence settles

‘Didn't quite catch that one’ is appropriate for a minor mishit, a major mishit, or a ball that has entered a different recreational activity. The phrase establishes that this was a narrow miss from excellence. Nobody needs to know what excellence would have looked like.

Follow with ‘normally I hit that pure.’ Normally is a wonderful word. It requires no date, no witness and no functioning camera. Yesterday is riskier. Someone may have been there.

Provide context generously

Mention an old shoulder injury. It can be from anything: softball, moving a couch, sleeping on a hotel pillow with unusual confidence. Do not specify until asked. Specificity is where credibility goes to be fitted for a smaller shirt.

If your partner points out that the wind is behind you, nod thoughtfully. ‘Exactly.’ You have converted a correction into a supporting observation. Consider buying a microphone.

Know when the conversation is over

Eventually someone will say, ‘We should keep moving.’ This is not an invitation to summarize your findings. The group behind you has heard the entire seminar and would like to play golf.

End with ‘I'm due for a fitting.’ It turns the lost ball into a purchasing decision and gives everyone permission to stop listening.

At the clubhouse, tell the story again. This time you were shaping it around the dogleg. By dinner you nearly drove the green. By Monday you are explaining course management to a man who only asked whether the printer had paper.