The annual Medicare open enrollment period is upon us. Barbara has prepared by assembling fourteen envelopes, three pairs of reading glasses and the original instruction manual for a toaster that was recalled before her youngest grandson was born. She has declined assistance because she has been handling paperwork since before anyone in this family could disappoint her.
Last Word Memorials has designated the kitchen table a temporary Benefits Command Center. Anyone setting a coffee mug on a document marked IMPORTANT will be charged with obstructing an investigation. The cat is already facing two counts. The gravy boat has been appointed acting administrator because it has never once tried to explain an app.
One television commercial is not a procurement strategy
Barbara is leaning toward the plan whose spokesman appears to own the most reassuring cardigan. Her son has suggested checking actual coverage. This has been received as a personal attack on a man Barbara watched sell reverse mortgages during reruns. We are not identifying the spokesman. At present Barbara cannot either.
The official window is October 15 through December 7. Changes generally take effect January 1 of the next year. Those dates are allowed to appear on the refrigerator. The phrase ‘I will get to it’ has been rejected as a scheduling method by everyone who remembers the garage cleanup of 1998.
Read the paperwork before defending it in the family chat
Use the official Medicare comparison tools and review the options that apply to your current coverage. Do not let an unsolicited caller hurry you into sharing information. There is no prize for selecting a plan while someone shouts that the offer expires at dinner. Barbara’s dinner deadline applies only to the casserole.
Our cemetery enrollment liaison has also clarified that a premium portrait preservation plan is not health insurance. It covers the continued availability of a scowl. Whether the scowl is in network has never been disputed.
The annual family meeting will begin when Barbara finds the envelope she placed somewhere safe. That is the same location as the will and the spare key.
Write down what you want to check, use the official site, and make an actual decision before the window closes. Then file the confirmation where another human can find it. Under a handwritten sign saying ‘DO NOT TOUCH’ is technically a filing system, but it is also how this family lost access to the good scissors.