Marlene has completed an independent investigation into the suspicious number of pigeons outside the grocery store. Unfortunately, she interrupted it to take a call from a man claiming to be an extremely senior federal investigator who needed her to buy gift cards. His badge number contained the word PREMIUM.
He warned that she must keep the matter secret from her family. Marlene agreed immediately. A person who tells her not to listen to her children has already established considerable credibility.
Official-sounding is not the same as official
A serious voice, a familiar agency name and information about you do not verify the caller. Caller ID can be spoofed. Requests for gift cards, cryptocurrency or urgent transfers are warning signs. A threat is not an invoice. A stranger declaring your savings unsafe is not a reason to hand them your savings.
Our Department of Very Obvious Developments recommends hanging up and contacting the actual agency through an independently verified official number. Do not use the number the caller provides. It is like asking the man stealing your lawn mower to recommend a detective.
Marlene will not scan a restaurant menu because she ‘knows how they track you.’ She was about to read a stranger twelve payment codes over the telephone.
Call your family before the second trip to the store
If you already paid, contact the payment provider promptly and report the fraud. Preserve messages and receipts. If you shared personal information, use the official identity-theft recovery resources linked below. Do not pay someone else who promises to recover the money for an advance fee.
The family should also retire the phrase ‘How could you fall for that?’ It contributes nothing except an incentive to hide the next incident. Try helping with the calls instead. You can be furious at the criminal without turning Grandma into the defendant.
Marlene has now demanded that her future monument state that she identified the plot. We have preserved the family reply: ‘You identified eleven plots and funded the twelfth.’ The print is available in our round waterproof frame. It is the picture of her immediately after Kevin explained why the gift cards were not tax deductible.