Resolution 001 / For framing and future arguments
Resolution of the Entirely Stationary Board
At a meeting convened on whichever desk currently contains the box, the following resolutions were considered by twelve shells. Attendance was established by counting them. Quorum was declared after somebody found the one beneath the lid.
- Purpose. The collection shall exist to be a collection. Any further description requires unanimous agreement and a larger label.
- Registered office. The registered office shall be the box. Relocation of the office shall occur when the box is moved. The location shall not be described as secret merely because nobody remembers which shelf it is on.
- Board appointments. The largest shell is appointed Chair. The smallest shell is appointed Secretary. All remaining shells are appointed Non-Executive Objects.
- Beneficial owner. The beneficial owner shall be the person who benefits from looking at the shells. This designation carries no powers beyond looking at the shells.
- Capital. The collection's working capital shall consist of available shelf space. Sand is not an acceptable substitute. Neither is a slide titled “Scale.”
- Permitted activities. The collection may be displayed, admired, dusted with a soft dry cloth, and rearranged after a mildly productive meeting.
- Prohibited descriptions. No shell shall be represented as a tax adviser, financial instrument, regulated entity, or qualified witness. A particularly convincing shell remains a shell.
- Reporting. The Secretary shall prepare minutes by remaining silent. The absence of minutes shall not be represented as a document-retention policy.
- Dissolution. The collection may be dissolved by putting the shells somewhere else. This is not a corporate procedure. Please do not bring forms.
Executed by: __________________, Person With the Box
Witnessed by: Twelve shells, none of which can sign.
The board has approved this resolution for circulation, framing, and carefully selected conversations. Qualifications and jurisdictional considerations*.