Our most important aftermarket protection.
The Legal Defense Fund exists to keep the founder available for keynotes, rank ceremonies and strategic jurisdiction changes. Without him, who would explain that everyone else simply failed to believe hard enough?
Every reserve allocation supports the continuity of the movement. Some also support a very comfortable chair in which continuity is discussed.
Where the imaginary money goes.
| Allocation | Share | Strategic benefit |
|---|---|---|
| Legal counsel | 45% | Translates “pyramid” into longer words. |
| Document redaction | 20% | Removes distractions, such as names. |
| Emergency rebranding | 20% | New logo. Same compensation diagram. |
| Founder travel flexibility | 15% | Keeps leadership mobile. |
The allocations total 100%. Finance has asked that we never reproduce this level of clarity in the income presentation.
Choose your level of solidarity.
- $25 / Witness: you remember nothing, but very confidently.
- $250 / Character Reference: you describe the founder as “visionary” without mentioning your inventory.
- $2,500 / Executive Alibi: commemorative access to a schedule that is perpetually subject to change.
Questions we have preemptively escalated.
Does this pay for my own legal defense?
The founder appreciates your broad interpretation of the word “our.” The fund's stated priority is the founder. The founder also wrote the stated priority.
Can I make an actual donation?
No. The contribution preview displays a local joke receipt and charges $0. There is no payment form, charity, financial product or investment offering here.